Parenting Books - "Hints on Child Training"

Hints on Child Training (Clay Trumbull, written in 1891)
I highly recommend this one! Here's what I can remember and thought was helpful:
  • Do not yell, threaten, nag, whine, or even scold. Ever. Use a gentle voice, always. Control yourself. (Wow. Easier said than done, but great advice. The other day, I found myself begging Little Bro not to wet his pants anymore. I'll bet you can guess how effective that was!)
  • Do not allow your child to win with "teasing," meaning whining or begging. Even if it's something you want to do for them or were planning to, never give them something after they've whined for it. Whining will stop when it stops working.
  • Giving children everything they want is a really bad idea. Also, if you ARE going to let them have something, let them want it for a while BEFORE giving it to them or helping them save up for it (i.e. a bicycle, guitar, car) so they actually appreciate it.
  • Practical ideas for making special days (like Christmas and the Lord's Day/Sabbath - Sunday, for most) delightful to them. This part helped me reconcile with the idea of including Santa Claus in Christmas, idol as he may be in many children's hearts.
  • Make the dinner table a priority, and a learning, loving place for children. Include them in conversations about things that are beyond their lives.
  • Be careful with faith training. Teach them to have faith in God, not faith in the power of prayer or good conduct. We cannot always count on getting what we ask for in prayer, and we cannot always be good - but God's love and mercy never fail.
  • Do not over-train children. Leave them alone sometimes. "Don't always be don't-ing," he says.
Plus lots of other great stuff I don't remember very well. Read it! Borrow it from me!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"...for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow..."

The other day at (you guessed it) the library, the boys and I were back in the board book section when I turned around in panic to see Big Bro walking quickly past the children's tables toward the exit, book in hand. He was saying something to me in his usual quiet voice, and the low buzz from the packed kids' section made it impossible for me to hear him. I sprinted after him, leaving Little Bro alone in the baby book area, fully expecting to return later to see every single book on the floor. I caught up with Big Bro quickly; he was just reaching the end of the children's section, and I asked him where he was going. "I'm yooking for an empty table," he said. What an eye opener. My child is no longer the unpredictable toddler who runs out of the building with no warning. He is now the little boy who chooses a book and goes to find a table so he can sit and read. I am ridiculously proud of him, but it's bittersweet seeing him grow up. Soon enough no one wi
Read more

Exodus

In nine days Daddy will receive a kidney transplant, and my world will change drastically. Although I should be leaping for joy, I am terrified. God wants to lead us out of Egypt, but I, foolishly, like Israel, prefer slavery to the unknown. A similar drastic and terrifying change happened three years ago, though I didn't know it was coming then. Daddy's kidneys failed, and our carefree (as much as you can call life with a six-week-old carefree) existence failed as well. Now I had a newborn to care for and a very sick husband whom I could no longer serve the tasty, healthy meals I had just become good at preparing, but only white bread/rice, bland meat, lettuce, candy, and mayonnaise. Then there were his 5 or 6 twice-daily prescription medications. How were we going to pay for this? We figured out the diet well enough, and the vast majority of the meds were covered by insurance. After a year, we started daily home dialysis, and he felt much healthier. He was even able to eat a
Read more

Banned word: "Proverbial"

I guess so many people learned in 7th grade English not to use cliches, but still really wanted to use cliches, that they got ahold of the word "proverbial" and had a party all over all of the books. I normally don't have a problem with non-wrong things in other people's writing. Wrong things like "I could care less" and "tied there shoes" are distracting. "She spilled the proverbial beans" is not wrong, but isn't it really just prolonging the cliche by smashing an excuse-me-but-I-must-use-this-cliche-but-I'm-using-the-word-proverbial-so-you-see-I'm-acknowledging-it's-a-cliche-so-it's-okay extra word into it? If you want to use a cliche, please just use it proudly without adding that pompous extra word to it. If you can't, good! Think of a better way to express your point.
Read more