Joy to Spare

Hints on Child Training (Clay Trumbull, written in 1891) I highly recommend this one! Here's what I can remember and thought was helpful: Do not yell, threaten, nag, whine, or even scold. Ever. Use a gentle voice, always. Control yourself. (Wow. Easier said than done, but great advice. The other day, I found myself begging Little Bro not to wet his pants anymore. I'll bet you can guess how effective that was!) Do not allow your child to win with "teasing," meaning whining or begging. Even if it's something you want to do for them or were planning to, never give them something after they've whined for it. Whining will stop when it stops working. Giving children everything they want is a really bad idea. Also, if you ARE going to let them have something, let them want it for a while BEFORE giving it to them or helping them save up for it (i.e. a bicycle, guitar, car) so they actually appreciate it. Practical ideas for making special days (like Christmas and the

I started to write my next parenting book review and ended up on this tangent. It's long enough in itself. My next book (Hints on Child Training, by H. Clay Trumbull) has a chapter on Training a Child to Self-control: such as, if he gets hurt, don't let him scream and cry as long as he wants. This seems to go directly against the popular fear of suppressing emotions, but children desperately need to be helped to control (not suppress) their emotions and reactions. And here is the tangent. Children need to be helped to view life in a way that helps them to have more "correct" emotional reactions. A couple days ago, I realized I have to pay $340 for a traffic ticket I got for turning left onto a quiet street because supposedly there is a tiny sign that I never saw saying I couldn't turn left there between 8:15 and 8:25 a.m. or some such nonsense. And I did feel angry. For a minute. Maybe a little longer. Maybe every time I allow myself to dwell on it. $340? For a si

I've read LOTS of parenting books. Some are conceptual (what, why). Some are practical (how). Most are a mix. Most books have some ideas that are helpful to me and some ideas that are not. A lot of it depends on the parent, the child, and the dynamic between them. Here's the first of my favorites (more to follow): How to Really Love Your Child (Ross Campbell, M.D.) This book helps build a solid, loving foundation in your relationship with your child. We all love our children, but don't always understand how to show our love in a way they can perceive. Children perceive love in these ways: Physical touch. Hugs. Wrestling. Patting their arm. Tousling their hair. Eye contact when talking or listening to them. Focused attention. Spend time interacting with them as often as possible. Discipline them consistently. (Discipline is not the same as punishment. It means teaching, training. Punishment should be only a small part of discipline, or even not at all.)

After dinner. Grandma resting on Grandma's lap, Grandpa stroking Grandma's arm. Duncan: "Grandpa's softing Grandma!" Love it.

I had heard people say that having a child renews your sense of wonder. The way she watches a single ant for twenty minutes. His excitement at seeing an elephant in the clouds. But I hadn't anticipated all that giving way to the most euphoric sense of awe at what the Lord not only can make, but spent the first half of eternity making for His children. To show His love for us. To communicate His invisible existence. I used to dread spiders. Loathe them. Lose sleep over them. They still freak me out, but now when I see one of those strange creatures, I hope it's not the kind I have to kill. Even the brown widow spider praises her Creator with her grace and beauty as she glides down to the ground before I smack her with a sandal. (I'd leave her alone on a hike, but on my kids' fort, she's toast.) I've always seen rainbows and thought, how beautiful. But now I see in them God's promise. Yes, not to flood the entire earth again, but more than that. All His prom

(about a year ago) Big Bro: If we went too fast, the policeman would knock us over. (yesterday, talking to Mommy) Big Bro: I really like your singing, but would you keep reading now, please? (He's a master of tact. Must have gotten it from Daddy, cause I know it didn't come from me!)

I just visited this old blog and realized that I really miss writing! So many changes since my blogging sabbatical. New house, fine art career begun, bigger kids, healthy husband, and finally... actually... not quite officially, but definitely... gearing up for homeschool. F irst course: Swimming! Bought the DVD ( Waterproof kids . I recommend it!), bought the book, buying the 10-visit pass at the community pool. Let's see how we do. Favorite quotes of late: -I treasure those little things Big Bro still doesn't get quite right: "erfquick" (earthquake), "I've never had that in a long, long time ago." (I haven't had that for a long time.) -Mommy: "Big Bro, please don't touch the books. You have pasta sauce all over your hands, and we don't want your bible to get all yucky." Big Bro: "Yeah, cause then we'd have to look at dirty pictures of Jesus and the disciples." (No joke. Word for word.) -Big Bro is becomin